My bike

       
         Having my brother be sick and need medical attention was hard on my mom. She really had no help from my dad, she is so strong for dealing with all that she did. Back then I didn't realize it. I feel guilty for being angry at her , for not noticing everything else that was going on. I resented her for not allowing me to be a kid, for all the responsibilities that she put on me. But now looking back I was the only support she had at home. Most of the time it was me who would step in, because well I saw that she needed help. I stepped it. Coming from a Mexican family I saw that she held on to the marriage because that what was done. Men are the head of the household, they are very macho. I take care of the family therefore you do as I say. Even though she was the only one working at some point he still had the power. Until she took it back.
         I remember arguments , I remember my cousin separating my dad from her after he had hit her. But I think what really did it was the fact that he stole from his own kids. Well his daughter. Because he was very close to my brother, he took him everywhere he was his son, he would be his legacy. Is tradition for girls to have a quinceanera the ceremony that told the world we are young ladies now.Mom had asked me to start planning what I wanted. I was surprised for I wasn't expecting it. I was excited but I also never voiced it for I knew that was something she couldn't afford to do. I didn't want to put that burden on her. My aunts had said that they would all pitch in and help, but I sat there and my mind drifted , I would have to be the center of attention, everyone would have their eyes on me. That scared me. I didn't like to have the focus on me, maybe they would see? I didn't feel worthy of such a ceremony of such celebration. I felt tainted. I told them then that I didn't want one, save the money mom I said. I avoided it completely. Well on my birthday my mom gave me this gold bracelet and a necklace. The bracelet said "15" on it and the necklace had my name plate on it. I know how much she had to have sacrificed to give me that. I held on to them so dearly.
          Well I wore them on special occasions for daily use was not something that would of kept them safe so I thought. One day I went to my little jewelry box to put them on to my surprise it was gone. I figured mom had put them away somewhere else. When I asked her she said she didn't have them. She then went straight to my dad, where are they she said?  Gone . That's all he answered. He had pawned them, to make sure he had his daily supply of beer. I was so hurt how dare he, she had worked so hard for that, he just took them without any guilt. I never really felt he wanted me around or that he loved me. That wasn't the first time he stole from me.
   Christmas time my mom got help from the salvation army if I'm not mistaken, well that year me and my brother got a bike. Goodness we were so happy, I didn't care that , the bike was all. I was elided, we got on it and we rode all day, everyday. Coming home from school dropping the backpack and straight to the bike for some freedom. On one of those days me and brother made plans on where to ride. We ran to the back on the house and only his bike was there. I ran outside I swear I put it away, nothing was there. Brother asked dad , he told him he had sold it. He came and told me. I had nothing to say. I walked to back where this huge palm tree was and sat next to it. I let the tears flow. Never had I felt such rejection. Why me ? I walked back into the house and said nothing . I stored it away somewhere.
    Mom came home and that's when she really let him have it. She told me she was sorry he did that to me. She cried because she saw my pain. He never even said sorry. That was the day she told me she was going to divorce him. Enough is enough she said.